Difference between revisions of "Episode CH4.3.4"

(Max's speech in this season finally stops using the extreme stuttering and repetition, probably as much for technical, audience and production reasons as because it was getting tiresome. I am still trimming such repetitions to minimum indicators here in the transcriptions.)

• Max: "Ha... I'm sorry. It's the pressure of being a star. You know how it is. Oh... you don't. But I do. From time to time I get a little bit... temperamental with the guys around me. You see, I'm the idol of millions, and, well, that's the trouble. They're idle... and I earn millions."

• Max: "Well, where am I... (whistles first notes of 'The Star Spangled Banner') Yep, you guessed it. Give me an A for Anglo-Saxons, an M for Mexicans, E for Europeans, R for Russians, I for Italians, give me a C for Costa Ricans, an A for Africans, and what have you got... besides a lot of letters? America, America... Yes, what a mixed bag of a country this is - home of the Chevrolet, home of the home run and don't forget, home of the brave. Eh... was til they wiped 'em all out. Yes, America, where the Indians have never been forgiven for getting there first. And why? Because the Indians didn't introduce anything decent to eat, that's why! The Poles gave 'em pickled gherkins, the Italians brought over pizza, the Germans, sauerkraut... put 'em all together, and whaddya got? Jewish delicatessen. And because Americans don't have to move out of their own country to find every style of terrain, weather and loud checked trousers. Yes-s-s! And it's a troubled country, which has come through the McCarthy trial and tribulation because it ha-has its foundations firmly based on the principles of liberty, fraternity and Laurel and Hardy. Course. Course. And, of course, freedom of speech... something they should never have told Dr. Ruth Westheimer about. But-but-but let's take a good look at what has emerged from a land where having chaps on your legs was something you can talk about openly. From the land of the chuck wagon and... cowpoke. Who got his name from... poking cows. (Let's hope it was with a stick.) Well, c'mon, it's a lonely job driving cattle, right?"

• Max: "Yes. Yes. America is a health-conscious nation too. They live in fear of contagious diseases like herpes, AIDS, being a one-car family. And it's a place where winning means success and losing means a walk-on part in Dynasty. But they don't just think about money; sometimes they think about how best to throw it away, like having a President driven around in an expensive bullet-proof limousine when he already has a perfectly good bullet-proof head. But I won't be unfair, because it's a well-known fact American politicians are the best money can buy. And, let's just take one final look at what makes America great. Well... of course it's the land of opportunity, where the streets are paved with gold... and whatever else muggers drop as they run away."

• Max: "And, you'll remember that on the last show, we asked you to write in and tell us whether you really wanted to see commercials in the middle of the show. And your response was overwhelming! But, I'm afraid it's about the money-money-money-money... arf"

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