Episode CH4.2.5

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Episode CH4.2.5
Title The Max Headroom Show
US Air Date 11 Dec 1985
UK Air Date 12 Aug 1986
Length 30 minutes
Guests No guests
Crew Talk Show Crew
Matt Frewer Max Headroom
The fifth Max Headroom talk show featured only videos and some Max riffs.

The MaxRchives contain a complete recording of the Cinemax version of this episode.

Videos & Segments

  • Max opens the show with a groovin', get-down hip-hop riff. (Embarrassing, from a late perspective...)
  • Video: The Cult, "She Sells Sanctuary"
  • Max claims he's a classical music person (as we all know).
  • Video: Peter Gabriel, "Shock The Monkey"
  • Max talks about his golf lessons and shows a film about golf balls being made, with the help of an offscreen child.
  • Video: Izzy Royal, "Coronation Street"
  • Max talks about having Severiano Ballesteros as a guest.
  • Video: The Kinks, "Come Dancing"
  • Max gives advice on how to dress like a real man.
  • Video: Pat Benatar, "Love is a Battlefield"
  • Ledernacken - "Ich will dich essen"

Notes & Commentary

This show has an offscreen speaker interacting with Max, a very young-sounding child Max calls Tim. Max also implies that Tim has something to do with the production of the show (in choosing guests, etc.) The voice is uncredited. The only "Tim" who appears to have had anything to do with the show is Tim Johns, occasionally credited for "Additional Dialogue" but not listed in the credits for this episode.

Quotes & Caps

No unique visuals in this episode.

(Max's speech in these shows uses extreme stuttering and repetition, which I will not attempt to replicate in the transcriptions here. You can assume that any stutter noted goes on many times longer.)

  • Max: "Oh, oh, you down, yeah, ah right, it's the Max Cornelius Headroom Show, where the pace is hot and the films(?) are not, so watch this and put some pep in yo' step, some cut in yo' strut, roll in yo' stroll, pride in yo' stride, Slick, and some [unintelligible] in your [ditto], yeah! (looks aside) Why [not?] sit here and look what I'm talking about?"
  • Max: "These... (snickers) chuckles videos are all very well, but I'm a - ha, ha - classical music person. As I think you know..."

"Tim" is a young child's voice, offstage and not seen.

  • Max: "The golf lessons are going incredibly well - backswing, coming along, approach shots to the green, coming along... putting, still needs some work on it, but, uh, I'd say it's getting there. Nine out of ten.
Tim: "Well, I think that people aren't going to say that [?], Max." [?]
Max: "Oh. Now, don't go away, 'cuz I've got something really great to show you. Now, I know these videos are very good, but... you can have too much of a good thing. And your mind can sort of O.D. on them. So really, they can be dangerous. And so, by way of a change, here's something... you must not miss. It's unique. I don't believe it's ever been seen on TV before, because I brought it in myself today. And it's totally different. It's a rare film of how golf-golf-golf balls are made. Gents... look at this.
(We get a grainy old film of golf ball manufacture.)
Oh, look at that... that is incredible! That's amazing! Yeah! God, it gets better all the time. Woo! There, you see? Who says I don't know what the public wants, hmm?
(looking offscreen) How do you know?
Tim: "It's a pop videos program."
Max: "That has nothing to do with it. A lot of people who watch pop videos are interested in golf. Do a survey for once in your life, Tim."
Tim: "I did, Max."
Max: "Now..."
  • Max: "Why does he do it... why does he do it to me? He says to me, 'M-M-M-Max, who you want on your show that's really fascinating and really special?' So I say, 'Easy! Severiano Ballesteros. He can come on and talk about golf.' And Tim says, 'Who is he?' ...Who is he? He's only won the US Masters, the Dunhill Masters, the British Open, the French Open and the Spanish Open... need I go on? ...Oh, it makes me angry. Okay, he says Ballesteros isn't interesting; I'll prove him wrong. I'll tell you about him. Listen to this:
Severiano Ballesteros is very, very interesting. He is Spanish. He comes from Spain. He wears really stylish sweaters and has very interesting dark hair. And... wait... wait! He plays... wait!... he plays... he play golf! ...Ah, what's the point..."
  • Max: "Okay, seems a lot of you... guy-guy-guys have taken my advice on dress, and are now walking around in baggy shorts and flip-flip-flops. Great. If you see me, give me a wave - I love to see the style. (I also enjoy a good laugh.) But now you're writing in and asking me the big one, the advice to beat all advice: how to walk out on the street and look a real man.
Okay. You want to look macho, right? Here's how you do it. First, it's how you move. Try to get that all-important shoulder twitch. Getting that nice, subtle hint of the hairy back just tickling away, there, under the shirt - essential for the macho man. But not too twitchy, or your cigarette packet will fall out of the pocket in your sleeve.
Now: where to work. I'm afraid macho men do not work in public libraries. (Sorry, all you he-man bookworms.) Though, if you have to, at least stamp the books very hard. And, if possible, carry them around in a brick hod.
Lesson number two: If possible, get a job on a building site, giving full opportunity to wear the two-shirt t-shirt and the baggy hipster jeans, just about to slide down over the hips. So when you bend down, you expose that essential nine inches of the bottom of your back. And of course, that is the perfect place for your gold chain or your 'I Love Mary' tattoo. See? Think original. And, working out of doors does allow you to address passing women with the macho conversation opener: (wolf whistle), and 'Whhhuuut?' - not to be confused with the standard greeting of male friends 'Ooh-whut oo-whut ol' son?'
(sound of feet running away) Damn... don't get frightened. I'm only telling them about it... wait! Wait! ...sheesh... these guys..."
  • Max: "
  • Max: "
  • Max: "